Portal Magic Confessionals
aka Weirdos Are My People
Hey Weirdos,
I can affectionately and lovingly call you that now because, if you’re still here after this story, you’re one of us.
Flashback to a show at Heaven Can Wait, March 2024, 9:30 pm. I’m on stage, about to introduce a song.
“Okay, so this next song is about being pretty fcking weird. A little weirder than your average bear. I used to say just that, but a friend of mine recently suggested I should share something weird about myself first — you know, to set the tone. He offered an example of someone who keeps their toenail clippings in a jar and smells them from time to time. To this day, I wonder if that image just popped into his mind or if it’s something he actually does.
Anyway, I took his advice. I told the crowd:
‘I once masturbated to the core of the earth… It was HOT.’”
😜😂
And that’s how you know you’re in the right place.
The Magic of Alignment
I had a Portal Magic moment last week that cracked me wide open. I’m still deep in integration, but I will say this: I feel a renewed sense of purpose as an artist. You’ll see it reflected in my work throughout the coming year.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about delight. Tiny, fleeting moments that you can physically feel are recharging your joy reserves.
For me, it’s been the way the light hits the trees at certain points of the day, especially during fall. While integrating last week, I sat beneath the tree in my backyard and watched a few golden leaves sparkle in the setting sun. They flapped in the wind like they were clapping for me.
Yes, I know that sounds self-involved. But if you’ve followed my journey, you know how long it’s taken me to be able to say this with confidence:
It felt like nature was clapping for me.
Why? Because I’m finally in alignment. With my soul’s work. With my purpose. The process of slowing wayyyyyy tf down this year has been key. It’s been grueling and gut-wrenching at times. It is not in my nature nor my lineage to slow. Admittedly, leveling out to my current relaxed rhythm would not have been possible without a healthy dose of grief this fall. More on that later.
This whole process has taught me something crucial:
We are committing violence against ourselves by being occupied 100% of the time.
We have to learn how to be occupied by consciousness, not by the collective illusion of ego. Not by the collective illusion that hustle culture is life. That’s something I’m learning in real-time, and it’s not something I can do alone. I’ve had mentors, family + chosen family, sacred spaces, and ceremonies to help me.
Maybe that’s the whole point — we’re not meant to do it alone. Alignment isn’t something you "achieve" by grinding harder or pushing through. It’s something you return to with the help of your community AND your inner sanctuary. Alignment is something you feel in your body when the noise quiets, and you hear the deeper rhythm that’s been playing all along.
That’s been my experience with Portal Magic — and it’s why I offer it to others. It’s a space where you can put down everything you’ve been carrying and listen. To yourself. To what’s ready to be released. To what’s ready to be born.
This season has reminded me how essential it is to have places like that — places where the world slows down enough for you to notice that even the trees are clapping for you 😜 .
If you’re craving a space like that, I’m currently welcoming a few more clients into my 3-month Portal Magic Alchemy experience. If you just want to dip your toes in, I also have a one-month group container starting January 16th. You can dm me on IG for more info or book a discovery call here.
What About You?
What has kept you stuck this year?
What’s felt off?
What made you feel like giving up?
On the flip side:
What has felt easy?
No matter how small, what moments of delight have carried you through?
What has helped you remember who tf you are?
One small delight can shift an entire day. Maybe even an entire season.
New Pathways!
My first print article is officially out! It’s on grief, and you can read it here or pick up a physical copy at natural food stores in Virginia, DC, or Maryland. It’s published in Pathways Magazine, and seeing my words in print has been a moment.
Take care of your weird, wonderful self.
With love,
Casey
P.S. Tell me — seriously — what moments of delight have carried you through this year? Hit reply. I’d love to hear from you.