"The Dildo Of Life Rarely Arrives Well-Lubed"
And other meditations On Change
“No matter who or what we are, we’re subject to constant change. When we let that truth in, it’s very uncomfortable, at least in the beginning. This Gene Key is all about the process of letting change in. We have to let it into our heart, body, and soul. This is a contemplation on change.” – Richard Rudd, 64 Ways
Today’s post is in reflection of Gene Key 3: Chaos – Innovation – Innocence
A Note on Ancient Wisdom:
Lately, I’ve been diving into the Gene Keys, which combine multiple ancient spiritual systems. Though I’m still learning, I’ve found these teachings intriguing. It’s worth noting that the Pyramid Texts of Egypt are the oldest spiritual texts, and the Rigveda is the oldest spiritual text still in use today.
Rigveda 10.190.1-3:
"The cosmic order is upheld by truth and sacrifice. The sun and the dawn shine forth according to the eternal law."
This passage speaks to the natural law of change—an idea that reverberates through time.
Other Ancient Teachings on Change:
Buddhism → Anicca (impermanence) teaches that nothing is fixed, and suffering arises from resisting change. If you’ve ever done a 10-day vipassana course, you’ll never forget S.N. Goenka’s deep baritone voice chanting, “Anicca! Anicca! Anicca!”
Taoism → Wu Wei (effortless flow) suggests that harmony comes from moving with change, not against it.
Heraclitus (Greek Philosophy) → "You cannot step into the same river twice." All things are in flux.
This one’s not as ancient, but for my Jesus-loving friends, consider this:
Matthew 6:19-20
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."
This passage reflects the idea that earthly things are temporary and subject to decay, urging us to focus on the eternal.
A Personal Reflection:
Today marks the first anniversary of my first solo Portal Magic ceremony. That one journey shook sacred change through my system in ways that continue to reverberate in my life and my community. It was around this time that I received the message to move my family to Richmond, Virginia, from the NYC area—to be closer to family in D.C. We also needed a slower pace to ground, rest, and strategize.
Living in Richmond has been magical, though we’ve had our fair share of storms. We miss our friends and family in Jersey, but we’ve extended an open invite for them to visit! If you’re reading this, please come!
Apparently, Richmond, Virginia, falls on my Midheaven line in astrology—so, yes, I’m here to work. Cue Brittney.
The more I lean into the quiet voice of intuition guiding my art, my relationships, my Portal Magic work, and my heart, the more interesting life becomes. For example, I had an intuitive feeling my husband and I should go to a certain sound bath last night—a much-needed oasis. Since we’ve been focusing on getting ahead financially, we haven’t had a couple’s vacation in years, so this was a perfect substitute. The experience was PROFOUND! It reconnected us down to the cellular level - I think we’ll make it a monthly ritual. If you haven’t explored the science of bioacoustics and cymatics, you must! Dr. Masaru Emoto’s water experiments are a great starting point.
In his work, Emoto studied how thoughts and emotions affect the structure of water, which is fascinating. His studies proved the power of the emotional vibration of words. Positive words create beautiful, harmonious crystals, while negative ones distort them. One could argue that Dr. Emoto’s studies proved that water holds consciousness—and since we’re mostly water, this insight is profound.
The vibrations from sound healing techniques are ancient magic. Going to a sound bath led by a professional is ideal, but you can also soothe yourself with the hum of your own voice. Vibration affects water; vibration affects consciousness.
Photos from Dr. Emoto’s studies
Embracing Change Through Risk:
Growth requires taking risks that satisfy your heart. If you want to stay the same, keep doing the same shit. If you desire to leap from a mediocre life to an excitingly orgasmic, fulfilling life, you must make a radical change.
People fear the psychedelic journey, but the real challenge lies in integration. That’s where most people struggle. Integration isn’t limited to psychedelics—it applies to any major life experience. However, integration forces us to confront our shadow side, often hidden in our subconscious. Shadow work is much easier with guidance, and the subconscious mind wants to communicate with us. We just need to learn its language. Psychedelics, dream work, breathwork, somatics, music, and meditation can help with this process. If you desire to stop being a victim of your shadow, you need to make radical changes.
Shifting Our Family’s Relationship with Money:
Since moving to Richmond, our relationship with money has drastically changed. We’ve adopted a strict no-spend policy (for the most part). We’ve cut out take-out and stopped shopping altogether. We canceled Amazon.
This year, we decided to limit our Valentine’s Day gifts to $20—and my husband delivered! He found a $10 “Sex Machine” James Brown shirt, mushroom earrings, and a locally-made card for $25. Kyle won Valentine’s Day ya’ll. Period.
Changing our relationship with money isn’t just about budgeting—it’s about deep, energetic work. I spent 30 years thinking wealth was bad. I clung to the “starving artist” trope. Having kids made me realize this idea is unsustainable. So, I started working on my “money story” around age 30. I realized money, like everything else, is neutral. I realized money is a tool, and I had a lot of spiritual work to do to invite the tool of wealth into my life.
I’ve recently picked this $$ work back up with my mentor, Bijou Finney, her co-facilitator Adriana Martinez, and a group of courageous women. It has been equally difficult and rewarding. Radical change begins in the body. To create and hold wealth in our lives, we need to train our nervous systems to accept and hold wealth. Small practices like placing a note of gratitude on your debit card can work wonders.
Embracing Change with Compassion:
Instead of beating myself up for not focusing on finances sooner, I’ve chosen to say, “Awwww, little darlin! She just didn’t know!” I know that seems goofy af, but as a recovering perfectionist, this is a radical practice for me. I highly recommend referring to yourself as a little darlin’.
We must soften into and after change. Life often unfolds like that meme: “The dildo of reality rarely arrives well-lubed.” Ha! We can’t change that, but we can change our reaction to life. We can change how quickly we bounce back after a tough moment. Let’s face it: most of us won’t reach enlightenment in this lifetime. But! Spontaneous enlightenment is real—and I’ve even extended that to financial enlightenment! The more we practice accepting change in our bodies, the more we invite the possibility of aha moments in all forms.
A New Life in Richmond:
Moving to Richmond has given my daughter the gift of daily play outside with neighborhood friends. We’ve enjoyed simple moments like “racing” as she rides her bike home. Our rented house sits on nearly an acre of land, and I’ve started communicating with the land spirits. I’m teaching my daughters to do the same.
Small rituals, like asking permission before taking a twig from a tree, help cultivate a more harmonious relationship with nature. Whether real or imagined, it teaches us to co-create rather than dominate.
This photo is the album art from my newest musical release - 5 AM. Give it a few spins and lmk thoughts. While you’re at it, please consider following me on Spotify
Winter & Writing:
Winter has dominated the energy in our house lately. With nearly two full weeks of snow days from school, we’ve been feeling sleepy and a bit moody. Despite this, I've made a point to wake up at 5 AM twice a week to work on my music and substack, creating a sacred space for quiet connection. A friendly reminder to artists- we get exceptionally bitter when we don’t create.
Admittedly, I was a bit bitter this morning when I was woken up much earlier than my 5:00 am alarm by a husband with a cold. Ha! After my writing ritual, I can’t help but giggle at myself for getting irritable. The extra time turned out to be a gift—it gave me a moment to dance in the kitchen while making Portal Magic honey for friends and family. When my husband wakes up, I’ll apologize for my grumpiness.
My mom has a quote on her fridge:
"We get married so when we fall back in love, they’re still there."
May you embrace change in a way that softens you, my little darlins. Sending big love!
Soft photo by Bitzy NYC Summer 2024