Mistakes, Mycelium Musings, And Movement

Being an artist, mama, witch, wife, and flight attendant is demanding, to say the least. As a 5/1 Projector still new to Human Design, I’m constantly figuring out what to cut out or cut down to make my life flow. People ask all the time how I do it. The truth? I fuck up a lot. I learn from my mistakes, and I keep going.

Like this weekend, for example. I made the biggest mistake a mom could make (relatively speaking). I double-booked my younger daughter’s birthday party with my older bonus daughter’s dance competition.

Years ago, this would have caused a huge argument with my spouse. Years ago, I would have spent at least a few hours at a pity party- livid with self-loathing. Fuck that! This year, I was upset at first, yes, but! I quickly realized there was nothing I could do. I watched my frustration come and go. We’ll reschedule the bday party - not the end of the world. My daughter will still have a fabulous Hello Kitty karaoke party. My bonus daughter will still absolutely crush it at her competition, and we’ll be there screaming our faces off and embarrassing her with unwanted attention.

No one will die.

This is how I remind myself to move through life’s inevitable chaos. Everything is okay. We are alive, and we have the power to choose the energy we bring to any given situation.

Why Talk Therapy Wasn’t Enough for Me

This kind of reaction didn’t come naturally. It took years of Portal Magic work, therapy, art, healing from addiction, somatic therapy, EMDR, brainspotting, yoga, breathwork—you name it.

We have the power to rewire our neural pathways, but most people get stuck in their loops. The dominant healing modality in the U.S.—talk therapy—isn’t always enough.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (talk therapy/CBT) certainly helped me understand my emotions, but it also kept me trapped in them. We get addicted to our suffering, to the way we analyze and retell our pain. Healing isn’t just mental—it’s physical.

When you’re depressed, do you feel it only in your head? Or does your entire body feel sluggish and heavy?
When you’re angry, do you only feel it in your brain? Or does your chest tighten, your throat burn, your stomach twist?

Healing requires the entire body. And for me, that’s where movement and Portal Magic come in.

What Is Portal Magic?

Portal Magic—my term for working with medicine, ritual, and movement for deep healing—activates the mind, body, spirit connection. It allows for cellular healing with two of the most intelligent living systems on the planet: your body and the mycelial network.

If you’ve ever experienced medicine work, you’re likely to remember the medicine working intricately in certain parts of the body. Sometimes, this work will be coupled with memories or sensations. Sometimes, it’s just an inner knowing that the medicine is doing deep work. It is a sensation a lucky few will experience in this lifetime. It is a sensation a growing population is learning to integrate in small doses on their own.

When you combine Portal Magic with movement? Game. Changer.

Movement as Medicine: My Human Design Experiment

Movement has been medicine for me since childhood. I started dancing at five, and aside from a six-month stint of drinking every day at 19, I’ve been highly physical ever since.

My father instilled exercise discipline early. When I got in trouble as a teenager, my parents forced me to go to Bikram yoga. Something must have clicked because at age 21, I did the 9-week teacher training. (For those who don’t enjoy torture, that’s 90 minutes of 26 postures in a 105-degree room.)

At times, my relationship with movement was disordered. But ultimately, it gave me a deep, embodied knowledge that not many other practices could. Over the years, I’ve explored yoga, somatics, breathwork, burlesque, pole dancing—each revealing another layer of connection between the mind, body, and spirit.

Looking back, my Human Design chart confirms everything I’ve felt intuitively for years:

Gate 46 – The Love of the Body (G Center): A deep appreciation for the body and its experiences. Movement brings joy.
Gate 57 – Intuitive Insight (Spleen Center): A heightened sense of bodily awareness and instinctual knowing.
Gate 10 – Behavior of the Self (G Center): Self-love and authenticity through movement.
Gate 34 – Power of the Great (Sacral Center): Bursts of energy that must be carefully managed to avoid burnout.
Gate 60 – Limitation (Root Center): Finding the potential within constraints—adapting to life’s physical and environmental pressures.

This experiment is just beginning. But movement—combined with Portal Magic—is the most exciting container I’ve ever worked with.

My Next Experiment

I’ve recently combined multiple movement modalities with Portal Magic to create a playful container. This magical mini portal reawakens excitement for movement, energy work, and artistic expression with elements from yoga, pole, and burlesque.

I’ll be debuting this workshop at the Eagles Nest in Guatemala, thanks to a connection with a dear friend I met at Bikram Yoga Teacher Training in Acapulco 17 years ago (love you Jo!). Soon, I’ll be running it online for the first time—for free—for my newsletter subscribers.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your body, disconnected from your power, or craving a new way to move—this is for you. Click here to sign up for my newsletter to be the first to try it.

I would love to hear from you in the comments—what forms of movement are medicine for you? Have you ever combined movement with Portal Magic or any other earth medicine? I’d love to hear about your experience.